In the front yard of a funeral home,
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."

On an electrician's truck,
"Let us look into your shorts."

Outside a radiator repair shop,
"Best place in town to take a leak."

In a nonsmoking area,
"If we see you smoking, we will assume you are
on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door,
"Push, Push, Push.

On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a
vegetarian except the dog."

At an optometrist's office,
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window,
"We really know our stuff."

On a butcher's window,
"Let me meat your needs."

On a fence,
"Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership,
"The best way to get back on your feet -
miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop,
"No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

In a dry cleaner's emporium,
"Drop your pants here."

On a desk in a reception room,
"We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

In a veterinarian's waiting room,
"Be back in 5 minutes.  Sit! Stay!"

In a restaurant window,
"Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

Inside a bowling alley,
"Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."